“Heeeeyyy Smart-Nice-Beautiful Lady!”
Riding high after she performed her newest ultra-cool feat – buckling herself into her car seat – (yes, no more wiggling my back in the rain thinking I can somehow dodge the drops while strapping her safely to her seat!) Hazel bounced and sang a version of “Heeeyyyy sexy lady.”
Errrrrew. Record stop.
“What’s that?” I asked. Amelia quickly quipped “Uh, that is a bad word Hazel.”
As if she didn’t usher this lyric into our lives.
My response, after I explained how 2012 that song was, “There are no bad words guys, we just don’t use that one.”
Thankfully they didn’t ask why.
“Yah Haze, we don’t use that word.” Okay Amelia, I get your six-year-old superiority to your sister, now stop with the echo. I mean, that’s right, Sweetie.
I’m sensitive to language. A disheveled word here, an exclamation point there!, or a misplaced pronoun can send us spinning. That doesn’t mean I use proper grammar/language at all times, you may have noticed, but whether spoken or written I’m touchy, and a touch prudish, when it comes to words.
And the word “sexy”? Out of my sweet girls mouths? No, no, no. I’ve taken part in covered mouth snickers when adult themed words and phrases come from the mouths of our babes. But, I think that an appropriate level of displeasure, along with explanation, should be shown when our kids say things that, quite frankly, they shouldn’t.
It doesn’t seem to be enough to say “just don’t say it” and leave it alone, that has the ability to make a word taboo and their desire to defiantly use it in times of distress would be damaging for all. How do I explain “sexy”, without, you know, getting all into what “sexy” means? Ugh.
Hazel didn’t know what she was saying, there was obviously no reason to fault her for saying “sexy”. While she doesn’t know what it means, saying “sexy” alongside a silly dance is a foundation from which a building of women as objects and descriptors, used to downplay their role in society, is erected. I’m not a fan of that.So, how do I appropriately discuss, with a 3 and 6-year-old, why, although PSY, LMFAO, and countless others use it, “sexy” is a word to be avoided? They didn’t ask, it blew over, and I can execute my ideals about language next time. Whew.
How sensitive are you to the language your kids use? What do you do when your kids use a less than appropriate word? What is the word you strike hardest against?
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Andrew Meyer is a Special Education teacher from Madison, Wisconsin, whose wife’s job relocation changed their family roles and physical location. He's now a stay-at-home dad in Madison, Alabama, to two awesomely creative, sometimes challenging, and mostly sweet five and two-year-old girls who fill his days, nights, and in-between spaces. When with or without them, he writes, works-out, wonders, wishes he wouldn’t worry, wrestles with his wife’s commitment to her job, and listens to music. You can also find him at www.papasense.wordpress.com, on Twitter @papasense, and Facebook.