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Fantastically Funny Fall Fatherhood Poems

Fantastically Funny Fall Fatherhood Poems

father and son on a nature trail surrounded by Fall leaves

We have some pretty amazing Contributors, and we love to feature them – especially when they’re talented, funny, and poignant when it comes to parenting moments. Happy Fall, Y’all!

Basically, Fall

Pumpkin spice latte where have you been,
I could hardly wait for fall to begin
So I could taste your nectar sweet,
Frothy creamy coffee treat,
Fill my mug with steamy love,
Pumpkin spice sent from above,
Ambrosia in its original sense
Fill my nostrils with your scent,
Cloves, nutmeg, and cinnamon,
Milk, espresso, and pumpkin.
Pumpkin spice, I love you so,
I wish you never had to go.

Trick or Treat

Every year it is the same,
Costumes, candies, silly games,
Bob for apples, carve a pumpkin,
Yell Trick or Treat, TP somethin’.
I watch you grow up, costumes change,
From sweet and cute, to now deranged;
Last year you were a Pokemon,
Now you are a headless man,
And soon you’ll trick or treat alone,
With your parents stuck at home.
For now I love to walk around,
Find houses with spooky sounds,
Hear you babble about candy
After the sugar has made you dandy.
Every year it is the same,
Until its not and that’s a shame.

Every Dad, A Giant“You are my Hagrid!”My girl says, dressed as HarryPotter and beaming.

Autumn Zen

Brisk breeze blows,
Rainbow leaves dance,
No more lightning bug glow,
No more summer romance,
Shorter days
Longer nights,
Inside play,
Autumn frights,
Cuddled in a sweater,
Watching leaves expire
It is perfect weather
To sit outside by a fire.
Autumn’s come and with it calm,
As nature draws its breath
These days are a soothing balm
Before winter’s long death.

Post Trick or Treat Haiku

Candy candy can-
Dy candy candy candy
Candy candy crash.

True Villainy

Oh those are unwrapped,
I’ll take those from you,
And that pack of Bottlecaps?
I’ll just have a few.
Oh, yes, go to sleep my dear,
Your candy’s safe with me,
You have nothing to fear,
You have my guarantee.
I hear you snoring as I dig
Into Mounds and Reeses
I don’t want to be a pig
So, only take a couple pieces.
And when you wake from your sleep
You won’t know what I’ve done,
And when you sleep again I’ll creep,
Because stealing candy’s fun.

This post was originally published in 2017 and has been updated.

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View Comment (1)
  • These are fabulous, although I think you are the only person I know who likes bottlecaps!! Also, I am betting one of my kids is a Pokemon thing, again….I’m over Pokemon.

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